| Writing | |
| July 31, 2025 |
The Flash Fiction Challenge 2025 / 1st Round
Won Second Place🥈 – Advancing to Round 2!
Story: “Foreign Soil”
Prompts: Historical Fiction / A city garden / An umbrella
When a Japanese family vanishes from their home in downtown Portland during World War II, a blue-collar father and his son tend to their needs and face the question of what loyalty means.
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
{1815} I’m impressed by the prose in this story, which is beautiful, and which made the Yamamoto’s garden really come alive. I also liked the subtle exploration of the differences in Walter and Daniel’s perspectives. This writer took a big subject and made it feel personal and subtle and human.
{2063} A heart rending story following Daniel, who finds that his Japanese neighbours have disappeared. Your depiction of the Yamamotos’ house is beautifully described visually, and your descriptive language, e.g. a vibrant exclamation mark, oxfords and slippers stood in a line, facing the door, trellised beans and clipped plum branches stood motionless… These depictions paint a 3 dimensional view of the house among the colourless surroundings. You not only bring the Yamamotos to life, despite the reader never ‘meeting’ them, but you create empathy for Daniel from the reader, by showing his worry and caring nature, despite the mixed actions of his father. A story with a strong structure, told with sensitivity, and authenticity.
{2373} There’s a great use of tension in this story on several fronts. The author opens on just the right note with the Yamamotos’ being sent to an internment camp (the history is woven nicely into this story, with the mention of Executive Order 9066 and with the boys throwing rocks at the house due to anti-Japanese attitudes). But there’s also some good tension between Daniel and Walter; I liked how the author gave us some hints of hope where their relationship was concerned, only to slam the door on it with the picture of Daniel and Aiko. In addition, there’s a good sense of loss in this story, especially in the photo of Daniel and Aiko, and ultimately, in the haunting coda in which Daniel ultimately acknowledges the end of his friendship.